Late Ven. Dr. Obinna David Chukwudinma Ibezim

With Love to My Celestial Being

Grief, an emotion that I have been forced to understand. The journey through grief is one where pain and beauty mingle. I am heartbroken, pained and angry because this situation is beyond my control, one that I can’t change. I am angry at the fact that life is about unpredictability, a series of long choices that God’s time and Fate makes for us without us knowing it, not knowing everything that could come your way be it good or bad, I guess that’s why we are humans if all is revealed to us then GOD would no longer be GOD. But in all the beauty of your memory I’ve chosen to accept that some things are out of my control. I’ve never been this confused in my life.

Death came early but I believe God is never late. I understand that GOD gives and GOD takes. When He gives you people love them as much as you can because one day He is going to want them back. Almighty father in heaven, I thank you not only because in every situation we ought to give you thanks and praise but for giving me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change and the wisdom to change the ones I can and also for giving me a father like daddy nke m nwere nani ya.

Dearest Daddy, I am thankful to God who gave you to me and you did everything within your power to make everyday count. You fought and prayed for yourself and for everyone else in your life and you’ve never lost so I’m convinced that whatever came must have been way powerful because you surrendered. How exactly am I supposed to begin this life without you? I have a lot of questions to ask.

On our way back from the village on Monday 10th April, the last time we had a conversation physically, you stressed on the reasons why I should have God’s kind of faith. Is this the part where God decides to test me? Is it in this situation that I need to practice Faith? Like I said earlier, I am confused.

I don’t need to state what your earthly life was like, it speaks for itself, between you and I, the father-daughter relationship was special. You said it, ‘I wouldn’t always be here but I’ll always love you’and I believed you because I’ve always trusted you. “Anything worth doing is worth doing well” the first life lesson you taught me. You had a golden heart, a smile that made all my worries vanish. I draw my strength from you because you raised your standard so high and that alone gave me motivations. Everything about your presence was so soothing and protective but there came a day when it all vanished and all of a sudden I feel bare and I feel nothing.

This feels like a nightmare I wish I can go back in time. You taught me that the proper way to live is to treasure time, each passing second as though there could be no more second left to pass after that but at the moment Time has become a funny thing to me especially when it keeps ticking away and yet I don’t see your calls or hear your car horn or even hear you call my name.

Adannaya

Ada bekee m.

Ada ga eletam woto woto.

Ada ga efe na elu.

Ada nke m nwere nani ya.

I haven’t heard you say this in a while and it breaks me. Is this what emptiness feels like?

And again it keeps ticking without consequence or empathy for those bound by it. Then again, in the book of Ecclesiastes chapter 3, I am made to believe it holds so much meaning and purpose for everything including death. Again time heals, I hope I heal because the damage is so deep and I feel like I am drowning. Jeremiah 29 vs 11; I believe in God and his plans for Mummy, my siblings and I because He knows best. I pray with time God will reveal himself to me and clear all my doubt and confusions.

Dearest Daddy, I am proud to call you my father, you are the best. I am confident that God is proud to call you, His son. Too many times I said I am okay even when I’m not but you saw right through me and you will always find a way to get me to talk. It hurts that you are no longer here with me but I need you to keep watch over me because you are in my heart always and forever.

So, Daddy I am speechless now, what again can I say? ‘Goodbye’? Well, I can’t. I can’t say Goodbye because this one is forever but with the remaining pieces of my broken heart, I say THANK YOU!

Thank you for being the best Father and Friend.

Thank you for all your sacrifice, time, dedication and meaningful contributions in my Life.

Thank you for leading me to God and introducing me to my best friend Jesus.

Thank you for never underestimating me and for cherishing your family at large.

Thank you for teaching me the tangible realities of mortal life , the art of giving and what it actually means to be great and successful and most especially thank you for loving me and everything.

YOUR LEGACY LIVES ON!!!

I will see you again and like you’ve done; I’ll make good history both on earth and hopefully in heaven before I too become history. Thank you for never underestimating me and for cherishing your family at large.

I LOVE YOU DADDY AND I WILL MAKE YOU PROUD.

ADANKE I NWERE NANI YA.

(Prisca)

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